Jersey, Channel Islands.
October 1999.
Jersey map.Jersey is an island, the largest of a group of islands off the French coast, which just so happen to be British and proud of it. It's a great place for an early or late vacation as it's just that much further south of the mainland UK, and in the Gulf Stream. This makes the weather 'English like' but warmer. Ok, so it does freeze occasionally  and snow has been known (within living memory) - but on the whole, it's a lot pleasanter - it can still rain though.

Rough seas at La Corbière Spit, Jersey.So as I didn't get round to taking a 'summer' vacation until October in 1999, this was an option. I'd been there once on business in '87, but that was only a couple of days and so doesn't count - I could hardly say I knew the place.

Getting There
Two ways, sea or air. The ferry takes all day (and feels like it) - did that the first time. Or a special deal on a scheduled BA flight from Heathrow takes about 45 minutes (flight time) or about 3 and half hours if the plane is late - it was! As the deal for two passengers worked out Model church at the Shell Garden, Jersey. about the same price as two passengers on the ferry, and even though we were left hanging about in departures for about an hour and a half longer than we should have been, the whole shebang was still six hours quicker than the ferry. Ok, let's be fair. That morning it was bucketing down, monsoon season had struck Heathrow, and even the big planes were being delayed. So what chance did our little 70 seat turbo-prop have. It appeared eventually, and once in the air, it felt like no-time before we were landing again. But by this time the weather had followed us and found the Channel Islands - Oh Great! We'd arrived and the only downer - no car, but no big deal, the money saved in not bringing the car was greater than hiring a small car when we got there.

The Hotel
La Corbière Lighthouse.Despite the delays, the island's transportation system was well geared, and the shuttle to the hotel was waiting. Now Jersey has two ways of making money. Offshore banking and tourism, so as most Jersey hoteliers want your custom, the hotel prices are good, and the value for money high. It only cost £8 to upgrade the bed and breakfast price to half board - for two, for a week. I don't think you could eat anywhere for a week for £4 - and the food was pretty good too. Not five star restaurant quality but a fair three stars, very definitely edible and varied.

Not the best hotel in St. Helier, but an adequate privately owned 3 star. It was obviously last refurbished in the late 70's, but well kept, clean and tidy. A well stocked bar, an entertainments room, and just about everything you could need.

Car Rental
Keep an eye on the prices, Hertz had to be reminded that they publish their prices on the internet when they tried to overcharge by £10. On the other hand, car rental is cheap by UK standards, and there's no excuse for hiring a big car unless there's a lot of you. Remember the island is small. Most of it has a 20 mph speed limit and some places you can't get a large car round the corners. So stick to a small motor.

Where to go?
Where not to go? The whole place is geared towards tourism. Perhaps the best way to get your bearings is to drive round the island. Taken slowly, it'll take all of half a day to stop and look at the more interesting bays. Doesn't matter which way you go, clockwise or anti-clockwise, the north and east of the island is all small bays - each An inmate of Jersey Zoo. one different and interesting in its own way. The south of the island is the built up area with four bigger bays, and the west side is not so much as its name St. Ouen's Bay implies, as a long bit of sandy beach and dunes.

Of course, there are some things which must be visited. Even if you are only vaguely interested in Zoo's, Jersey Zoo is world famous, amongst the top league and not too expensive. Well worth taking a whole day to explore.

German Underground Hospital.Quicker to get round, but equally fascinating in an entirely different way, is the German Underground Hospital Museum. The Channel Islands were the only bit of the UK invaded by Germany during the war. This also explains the number of 'attractions' in derelict German gun emplacements. I found one of these a real rip-off. If you're into museums, then St. Helier has the 'official' museums which cover most things - the new maritime museum is particularly good, aimed at the kids as well as serious mariners.

Steam Clock - St. HelierJust over the way from the Maritime museum is the 'Steam Clock' an intriguing way of telling the time, appearing to be made out of bits of a derelict paddle steamer. It's actually quite new, and I was told by a local that it cost a fortune to build and is notoriously unreliable. To be fair, it was telling the right time when I saw it!

There are many privately owned attractions scattered around the island which are variable value for money. I was in heaven at the Pallot Steam Museum - not that steam railways featured heavily on the island. But the collection of traction engines, incongruously mixed other steam driven machinery, rescued cinema organs and early electronic organs, would have kept me there all day. Outside was a small loop of track and one of the prettiest little railway stations I've ever seen. On the other hand £5 to look round a German bunker, which doesn't even boast a gun, no matter how rusty - well that's a rip-off.

It was quite obvious that it was well out of season. Despite the pleasant weather, there were few people on the beaches and many attractions in St. Helier were closed. A pity. Even half the pubs were closed - but they were the ones in the big towns and not the sort of pub I frequent anyway. The pretty little quiet pubs in the villages, you know, the ones with decent beer and a good meal, they weren't short of custom. So I can't say I was disappointed.

Does it Pass the Test?
Yes! Seven days is about right and leaves plenty to go and see the next time round. That, I think, I'll make The old police station at St. Brelade.May or June, just before the schools shut up and all the noisy kids invade the Maritime Museum. I think I might like to go and live there, but I know I can't. Although it's part of the British Isles, it has some peculiar residency rules. Something on the lines of, if you have enough money, you can live there, but to become a citizen you have to be related to an existing citizen or be able to prove some familial line related to the island. Simple, I haven't got enough money, and I'm certainly not related to anyone on the Island. Oh well, I can dream.......

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